At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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