I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
