going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
