i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
