I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
