Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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