What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
