i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
