YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
