Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
