Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
