just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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