It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
