Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
NoShamevember. You game?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
