Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
