Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
