I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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