well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You're earring is so big in my mouth
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
