you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
