So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
3 2 1 whiskey
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
