Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
