So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it hurts more in the daytime
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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