college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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