i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize