I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
