That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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