I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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