quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
