the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
