I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
