I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
