He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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