She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
