drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
