dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize