Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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