Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
