Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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