I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
