Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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