did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
