They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
