if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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