I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize