What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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