It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
God, I missed his penis.
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