I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
