we made out on top of his cat.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
