Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
