I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
