The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize