You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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