guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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