its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize