This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
