so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize