This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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