Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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