You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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