he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
