i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
