we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
