Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
