He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
