it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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