Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i will never coherently bang her
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
