In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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