I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
