All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
