We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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