i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
